Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Product Review

I've tried a couple of new things on this 7 day diet.  One is the milk chocolate Atkins shake.  I bought a 4-pack so that I wasn't getting all of my protein from just eggs and meat.  I have to say I don't care for them.  I had one yesterday, and while drinkable, it just wasn't very tasty.  I'll finish the other 3 over the course of the week, but won't be buying anymore.

The diet also suggests you buy the spritz salad dressing for your greens...only 1 calorie per squeeze!!  I grabbed the Wishbone brand (not sure if there were any other brands) and as soon as I tasted it, I thought this tastes exactly like distilled white vinegar.  I flipped the bottle over and read the ingredients.  The first 3 listed were water, HFCS and white vinegar.  Blech!!  Nothing bad against Wishbone, I use their House Italian as a marinade for chicken when we're grilling a good bit.  But the spritz stuff is horrible.

Finally, I've tried the Special K protein bars as a snack.  The flavor I bought is Chocolate Peanut.  Oh my heavens....these are divine!!  They're just as good as any candy bar I've ever eaten.  They're very small and 110 calories, and absolutely perfect if you just want a couple of bites of something sweet.  I even got Dwayne to try one, and he was extremely impressed, too.  Now....if you're one of those people that sweets sends you over the deep end....if you buy those 100 calorie snack packs for treats, and then eat all 6 packs in the box at once, do NOT buy these.  They're just too good and I could see where it would be a bad idea for people that have a harder time with sweet stuff than I do.  I had one last night and one the night before, and that's all I needed and wanted.

I ate under 1500 cals again yesterday.  The official weigh-in for the challenge is next Wed, so I'm making myself stay off the scale until then.  It's hard to do, but I want a nice surprise when I jump on next week. :)

I will say that I had some SERIOUS carb cravings last night about 10pm.  I couldn't stop thinking about pizza and subs, etc.  But I beat down those thoughts and stayed on plan.  I think anytime you restrict a specific group of foods, you're naturally going to want them all the more.  You always want what you (tell yourself) you "can't" have.  I'm only doing this high protein/high veggie/low carb diet for a week...but restricting carbs is something I have to do for LIFE, due to my diabetes.  So it's something I'll just have to learn how to live with.  I don't really have any choices in that area, which is a good thing, because when I eat too many carbs I feel bloated and sluggish.

So 2 days down, 5 to go, and life is good.  :)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Stuffed and Miserable!, Day2 of this 7 day diet I'm on with my friend.  I had 2 eggs this morning for a 150 calorie breakfast.  I just ate lunch a few mins ago at my desk here at work.  I thought I was starving, so instead of having 1 baked chicken breast, I had 2.  They were big, so I'm thinking about 400 calories.  I am absolutely stuffed and miserable.  Note to out your food better.  I should have waited a couple of hours to eat that 2nd piece of chicken.  What a moron.  I feel like I want to puke, lol.

However, this little experience had made me think that it would be damn near impossible to get fat off a high protein and veggie diet.  I'm at 550 calories for the day right now and the thought of eating another bite makes me want to hurl.  I'm sure I'll feel better in a few hours and will be fine by dinnertime, but I seriously doubt I'll be hitting 1500 calories today.  The diet I'm doing doesn't count calories, but I've been keeping up with them anyway, because the first 3 days are unlimited protein.  I figured since I'm such a volume eater, I better make sure I don't go over the 1500.  Yesterday I came in at 1250.  I think today's going to be even lower.  I'm pretty sure my weigh-in on Wednesday of next week for Chris' challenge is going to be pretty awesome.  That was the whole point of doing something different this week.  I want to propel myself down into the 230's.  Things are looking good.

And by the way, I picked up a 4 pack of protein drinks at the store last night.  The Special K ones had 26g of carbs in them...but I ended up getting the Atkins drinks for only 5g of carbs.  I brought one to work to try this afternoon, but I'm not sure if that's going to happen.  I am just too stuffed.  We'll see.  Maybe later tonight.  Make it a great day! :)

Monday, February 27, 2012

Pass the Protein Please

I'm getting started this morning on the "new" diet for the next 7 days.  I had my 2 eggs and 2 cups of coffee and I'm packing up my lunch that I cooked last night.  I baked a big pan of chicken that should last me about 3 days, then will need to cook another big batch to get through the next 4 days.  Oranges and protein shakes will also be involved.  Does anyone else drink protein shakes?  I don't think I ever have, so don't know which brand tastes the best.  If you've got any tips, let me know.  I need to pick some up at the store today.

We went to the OysterFest yesterday and had a great time.  And as usual, I forgot to take the camera, lol.  The temps were around 52 degrees and the sun was shining bright, so with jeans and a light sweater on, the weather felt perfect.  We were planning on eating at The Steamhouse restaurant in the middle of the party (they blocked off some streets around the restaurant), but getting a table was impossible.  We eventually left and went to the Marietta Fish Market to eat because we were all geared up for seafood.  I got the the senior citizen/lighter appetite menu.  Shrimp and scallops with a baked sweet potato.  I didn't finish it all, and it left me wondering how I ever swallowed down all of those big ass fried seafood platters of the past.  No wonder I got up to 340 lbs.  Totally out of control....but not anymore. :)

Feeling good on this Monday morning.  If you know of a good protein shake to buy, let me know!  :)

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Beautiful Sunday

Today is our buddy Mark's birthday, so me, Dwayne, Mark and his brother Kevin are heading down to the OysterFest in Midtown Atlanta.  Good seafood and live bands...sun is shining...should be a great day!

Tomorrow I start the 7 days I committed to on my friend's diet, bascially because she asked me, and just to do something different.  It's one of those programs that cost a lot of money to do and probably don't want their diet passed around if you're not paying for it, so I won't name the specific program. 

I'm not big on set programs specifically.  I've always thought it boiled down to eating less and moving more.  Don't really need to fork out lots of money for that...but it will be fun to do a little group effort with my friend.

I was actually supposed to meet up with my bio daughter Brittany this coming week for lunch at a sushi place that she loves...but totally forgot about this strict menu I've got to follow, so will probably have to push lunch back to the following week.  Sushi always seems to be wrapped in rice and I can't have the rice this week.

I'm going to sneak my camera in my purse and see if the guys will let me take pics of them at the OysterFest today.  Doubtful if they'll "pose" for any pics, but I'll try to get some random shots and post them on here later.  Make it a great day! :)

Friday, February 24, 2012

Trying Something New

No Chinese food yesterday...yay me.  lol

Starting Monday, I'm joining a friend on her diet for 7 days.  I only want to do it for 7 days for a couple of reasons.  First of all, the diet plan looks very painful, I'm not committing to more than 7.  Secondly, I like the 1500 calorie cap that I'm doing now....I'm just doing this to force myself to focus on a specific plan/menu just to do something different.  Boredom on a diet is a killer.

It never hurts to shake things up once in a while.  I'm jumping on the train on Monday and will ride it through next Sunday.  I'm curious to see what kind of loss it will produce that Monday morning...should be a good one.  And my Challenge weigh-in is 2 days later on that Wed.  Looking forward to it...kinda'.  lol

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Chinese Food

Started my cycle this stuff!  The cravings are in full force.  I walked into work at lunchtime today and immediately smelled Chinese food.  Damn.  Some days are easy...others, not so much.  Today is one of those days I've got to really buckle down.  Snacking on some lowfat Wheat Thins right now.  Eff the Chinese food...I've got a goal to reach.

"Do or do not.  There is no try."  ~  Yoda

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Challenge Weigh-In

I'm down 2 more lbs!  I was 242 last time...this morning I'm 240.  I cannot tell you how flippin' excited I am that I'll be in the 230's at the next weigh-in!  Feeling good!

The plan for the next 2 weeks is to budget my calories so that I have at least 200 left in the late evening for snacking.  I should have been doing this from the get go...but I'm doing it now.  Also, more water. 

I am now ONLY 41 lbs. from goal.  :)

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Someone Noticed!

I wore a pair of my new size 22 pants to work yesterday with a new blouse and some high-heeled boots.  I'll admit it....I was feeling good. :)

About 15 mins after getting into work, my boss called me in his ofc.  Here's the conversation:

Boss:  So....have you been exercising a lot?
Me:     (puzzled look...didn't say anything)
Boss:  You've been losing weight...
Me:     Oh....yeah!
Boss:  I can're looking thinner.
Me:    Oh...well...thanks for noticing!!!!

And I walked back to my desk....or rather, I floated back to my desk, lol.

While I haven't lost a whole lot always feels good when someone notices.  Especially when it's someone as obscure as my boss who seems to never notice anything, lol.

I took a peek at the scale this official weigh-in is tmrw morning for the challenge.  I'm basically in the same place I was 2 weeks ago.  I'm not struggling...just still a little too lax in the snack department in the evenings after dinner.  (i.e.  Cheetos last night while playing Scrabble).  It's a problem, and one I need to fix.  I also think I need to raise my water intake.

I mentioned in my last post that I should probably try on another size down in pants when I lose another 15 lbs.  I'm thinking now I might do it in another 10 lbs.  The size 22's I had on yesterday felt great...but at the end of the day they felt a little TOO comfy...meaning after they stretched out from wearing them, I had about a 1" gap all the way around my waist.  So I think in another 10 lbs. or so, I should be able to fit into the size 20's.  I also fully expect to be down into the 230's in another couple of weeks.  This is getting exciting.  It's always such a good feeling when your mind's in the right place.  :)

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I Lost Something

Guess what I lost?  A pants size!! 

I went shopping for pants this absolute least favorite thing to do.  I tend to wear my clothes until they're completely faded and thread bare because I hate shopping so much.  I had gotten to that point.

I went to Kohl's to see what I could find on the clearance rack.  I pulled off 8 pairs of a size 24 and headed to the fitting room.  I had been in a size 26 for quite a while.  Knowing I dropped nearly 10 lbs. in the first 2 wks of the weight loss challenge, and possibly a little more in the last couple of weeks, I thought I might could squeeze into a 24 by now.  Nonetheless, as I headed for the fitting room, as usual, my heart was filled with fear.  Shopping usually induces a near panic attack in me...I just hate it. 

I'm always scared that nothing I grabbed off the rack is going to fit...I'm always going to be too fat for anything in the store....especially a store that's not specifically a "plus size" store.  And standing in front of those damn mirrors when nothing fits is just my idea of a really bad day.  Then comes the berating of how could I let myself get so friggin' fat in the first size is so embarassing...if I didn't have to work I'd never go out in public, etc. etc.  This is why I very rarely go clothes shopping, lol.

But yesterday was a new experience....a GOOD experience.  I tried on all 8 pairs of the size 24  pants, and not a single one of them fit.  Not a single one. 

They were all TOO BIG.  It's almost like although I knew I'd lost a little weight, I never considered that my clothing size would reduce.  I was truly standing there, with all of those pants in a heap at my feet, trying to make my brain comprehend that I had a lost a size.  I know it sounds dramatic for dropping one size, but I was really standing there in disbelief.

At one point in my original blog, I had gotten down to 222 lbs.  I was wearing 18's and 20's in tops and pants.  Then I climbed back up the scale.  I had to buy bigger clothes again because I had gotten rid of my bigger stuff as I moved down the scale....never to gain that weight again!!  Yeah...right.  I wore my clothes until I just couldn't breathe in them anymore, and had to break down and buy bigger sizes again.  I was back in a 26.  I remember feeling so defeated...kinda' like when I had gotten over 300 lbs. and thought I had passed the point of no return.  I was just going to be in this size the rest of my life and that was that.

For whatever reason, I decided to give this weight loss thing another whirl....and if I wanted to be totally truthful....really didn't believe I'd make anything of it.  So I wasn't even thinking about smaller sizes.  I have found encouragement in knowing I'm only 45 lbs. from goal....but obviously didn't compute that into smaller clothing sizes.  I'm so glad I went shopping now, because being able to wear a smaller size and actually see that smaller number on the tag makes things a lot more tangible.  It's like, "Holy crap I'm really doing this!"  It makes up for all of those days when you really don't FEEL like writing down every calorie...but you do it anyway.  You would RATHER have the double bacon cheeseburger that your boyfriend is eating, but you choose the grilled chicken instead.  I'm thinking it will be a good idea to go try on some pants with every 15 lbs. lost.  It's a good motivator and keeps the spirits lifted. 

So...I went back out to the clearance rack and found 3 pairs of pants in a size 22 and tried them on.  They all fit so perfectly and comfortably.  I bought all 3 pairs, along with 3 new tops off the clearance rack.  I spent $107 out of the $120 that Dwayne gave me for Valentine's Day.  What a wonderful gift.  :)

I'm smiling wearing my size 22's because I know the size 20's are right around the corner.  Make it a good day!  :)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

So Close To Goal

Good morning!  I got a little kick in the rear this morning so I thought I'd share.  This morning is my unofficial weigh-in and I'm up 2 lbs.  I was a little surprised, so had to go back over the last 7 days and figure out what's going on.  It didn't take long.  A little complacency has slipped in with the calorie capping.  I do great all the way through dinner, but have gotten lax on night-time snacks after I've reached my 1500 cal limit.  There has been no bingeing at all, but there were also a couple of restaurant celebrations.  Last Saturday we went to lunch with Dwayne's mom for his birthday.  I wanted the big ass deep-fried seafood platter.  What I chose instead was the grilled shrimp and scallops with a plain sweet potato off the "lighter appetite/senior citizen" menu.  Sodium is always an issue though when you eat in a restaurant.  Then there was yesterday...more celebrating for Valentine's Day.  No chocolate, mind you, but more sodium.  So yeah, a 2 lb. gain well-deserved.

Not to fear though!  I've strapped the blinders back on this morning.  I got bored with having chicken every day for lunch for the last 3 wks so this week it's been tuna salad.  It's 325 cals for my serving and it breaks down like this:

1 can solid white tuna  140 cals
1 boiled egg                  75 cals
2 tbsp. light mayo          90 cals
lil onion/dill pickle          20 cals

Total:                          375 cals

I eat this w/ either a 110 calorie bagel thin or w/ a svg. of low fat Wheat Thins for 130 cals.  It's a yummy lunch.

It looks like I may be taking 2 svgs with me today, as I have an Errand Fairy appt. right after I leave the insurance job and will probably last a couple of hours.  Normally, by the time I leave work at 5pm and get home at 6pm I feel like I'm starving to death.  So I have to make sure I don't get stuck out at dinner time and hit a drive-thru.  That's a bad idea.  So tuna salad for dinner tonight.  Plan and prep is what keeps me out of trouble! 

Thank goodness the official weigh-in for the challenge only happens every 2 wks.  I've got a week to dump these 2 lbs. and hopefully shave off a couple of more.

I was laying in bed last night thinking.  That's when I do all of my best thinking.  I just can't believe I'm only 45 lbs. from goal right goal being 199 lbs.  I was thinking back to when I was 340 lbs. at my highest.  Those were sad times.  I was going through some life changes and a lot of depression.  The thought of losing all of that weight felt so impossible.  I don't know why, but I had this thought in my mind as I was creeping up towards the 300 lb. mark that if I went over, that would be past the point of no return.  If I got over 300 lbs., there would be no way I could ever lose that much weight.  I'd be too far gone....completely hopeless.

Well THANK GOD I was wrong about that.  Thank God.  Completely hopeless?  Says who? 

Somehow, some way, I took that first step.  I stood there, looking at my life, my body riddled with diabetes, hypothyroid issues, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, morbid obesity...couldn't walk to the mailbox without losing all my breath, and only 32 years old.  And I turned around, right where I stood, and started walking in the other direction.  I turned my back on the dim, understandably SHORT future that lay in front of me, and took the first step towards changing my life.

Last night, laying in bed, with all of these thoughts, I felt thankful....THANKFUL...that I'm only 45 lbs. from my goal.  The realization that I'm going to make it out was overwhelming.  Look how far I've come.  Amazing.  There's been a lot of prayer, a lot of determination, focus and sheer will to get me where I am now.  And there has always been hope.  There is always hope. 

When I decided to start blogging again after a year in limbo and stagnant weight, I decided to take what I'd learned from the previous couple of years in blog land and apply it to this go'round.  Number one is to keep a positive attitude.  Number two was to keep things on an even keel....don't go setting ridiculous goals, setting myself up for failure, getting frantic and diving headlong into bingeing.  Number three is to really, really work on consistency.  As you can see from this last week, complacency has set in very early on in my challenge.  That's a huge no-no, and what led to the thoughts last night.  I didn't want to see a gain at all when I started this challenge, so it was important not to let my thoughts get negative and chastise myself for losing the consistency that I've struggled with so much in the past.  I'm not going to lament over it...I'm going to fix it.  I'm going to move forward with the happy knowledge that I've only got 45 lbs. to go before I declare victory.

The truth is, I'll probably want to drop more weight after I get to 199 lbs.  But another thing that was very important to me when I started the blog again was to set a goal # that I felt was completely reasonable and attainable.  I'm not one of those people that can leave things open-ended.  I rely on numbers...that's just the way my brain works.  And I wanted a # that wasn't too far away from where I currently was....251.4 lbs.  But the biggest reason I chose 199 is because I truly cannot remember the last time there was a "1" in front of my weigh #.  In fact, the last # I can remember my weight being was either 234 or 237 lbs. in my senior year of high school.  I was 17 years old then.  I am now 39.  Was it 10th grade?  9th grade?  I just cannot remember.  So for me to see 199 on the scale, after being 340, just feels like a victorious number to me.  It feels like success in my mind, so I'll call that my "main" goal, but not my overall goal.  However, I absolutely refuse to think about a number lower than that at this stage.  My full focus is on that 199.  My full focus is on ONLY having 45 more lbs. to lose.  It's what motivates me.

My goodness...I wrote a book!!  lol  Sorry about that...just sharing the thoughts that are keeping a smile on my face today.  I hope all of you are moving in the right direction as well.  Most importantly...believe in yourself.  No matter where you started or where you're CAN get to where you're headed.  Believe it.  :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Saturday, February 11, 2012

R.I.P. Sweet Whitney

I'm watching this on the news now.  Shocked is an understatement.  48 yrs old.  Unbelievable.  I grew up listening to her music.  I'll be 40 yrs. old this year.  I remember hearing her sing Amazing Grace acapella once.  Might have been on the Oprah show.  I still get chills remembering it....just the sweetest, purest voice.  Just so sad...such a loss. 

Friday, February 10, 2012

Calorie Restriction/Binge Thoughts

I've been around the blog world about 3 years now.  Needless to say, I've learned a lot.  We are all so different in so many ways, and at the same time, we also have a lot in common.  I've read I don't how many times on different blogs about how calorie restriction leads to bingeing.  I wasn't sure if I agreed or not...I don't guess I had really paid attention to whether it was true for me or not.  I know it isn't true for some Sean Anderson. 

Sean started at 505 lbs.  Finally decided to get serious about losing his weight once and for all, set a calorie cap of 1500 cals and whatever exercise he was able to do...and just kept going.  He never looked back.  He reached his goal weight, wrote a book about it, and is still maintaining quite nicely.  I met Sean online very soon after I started blogging 3 years ago and consider him a good friend.  I've followed his journey pretty closely and after restricting his calories to 1500/day...bingeing never became a problem for him.

I've followed a lot of other blogs, too, though...and I'd say that's not true for the masses.  I have found that way more people end up bingeing at some point after restricting for some amount of time.  Some do it infrequently, and some seem to only make it a week or two with restricting, then binge, get back on track, and a couple of weeks later they're bingeing again. 

The guilt, remorse and feelings of failure go without saying.  All anyone wants is to break the cycle.  Lose the weight, stop the bingeing, and just be NORMAL.  But how do you do that?

I really don't know.  I've spent the last couple of weeks thinking about this, and I truly can't come up with the answer.  I've only been doing Chris' challenge for 2 weeks...capping at 1500 calories, and I've noticed that I've had binge thoughts 3 days already.  I haven't given into those thoughts, but I've really been paying attention to them.  It's unbelievable how strong they are.  It's you don't have any control over your own actions.  Now of course, we all have a choice, me included...and so far I've won out over the binge.  But it's damn aggravating to be wholly consumed with those thoughts that, if you give in to them, will do nothing but harm you and set you back.  They are obsessive and controlling, and if I may say so...EVIL. 

Some seem to struggle with them way more often than others.  I wonder why.  And some react differently after they give into a binge than others.  Some will wallow in it for days, with the binge going past 24 hours, and covering a few days.  Then they'll lament over what a failure they are and maybe there's just no hope for them.  Others lose control, have a binge day, or maybe just a couple of hours, and when the sun comes up the next morning, they just forgive themselves and move on....right back on track with the calorie counting.  I find this so interesting....these responses.

I don't really have a point to this post, I guess.  Well, no solutions, rather.  Just something I've been thinking about.  I think food addiction is a lot like alcoholism.  Once an addict, always an addict.  Food being different though, in that you can't set it down and walk away forever.  Wouldn't that be a dream!  Somehow, us food addicts have to find a way to tame the binge monster, and manage our addictions so that we can learn how to eat as closely to NORMAL (there's that word again) as possible.  Sean says we need to stop fighting the wrong battle.  The battle isn't with's with ourselves.  He's absolutely right about that. 

So...let the learning continue.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A Slow Suicide

I've got something that's been bothering me for a while now.  It rides around in the back of my mind, and no matter how I try to occupy my thoughts with more pleasant things, it's always there.  I wanted to post about it, but couldn't seem to get it out.  Thankfully, my lifetime friend, Pam, wrote a post about it today.  Go to Pam's blog to read about what I didn't know how to say.

Challenge Weigh-in #1

I started Chris' 100 day challenge 2 weeks ago at 251.4 lbs.  This morning I weigh 242.0 lbs. for a loss of 9.4 lbs. in 2 weeks.  Woo Hoo!!  I'm a very happy girl today.  :)  I am 3 lbs. away from being back down in the 230's.  I am 43 lbs. away from my goal weight of 199.  Only 43 lbs.?  I can totally do this.  :)

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Damn You, Jack!

Jack tagged me on one of these word tag thingies.  I hate these things, lol.  Here we go:

The Rules

1.  Post the Rules.
2.  Post 11 random things about yourself.
3.  Answer the 11 questions given to you.
4.  Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5.  Go to the blogs of those 11 people and let them know you tagged them.

11 Random Things About Tammy

1.  I'm 5'10.  I used to hate being the tallest girl in school.  Now I kinda' like it.
2.  I would give my life for my baby Scarlette if need be.  I have an obsession with my dog that is downright
     scary.  Dwayne worries about me, lol.
3.  I am an extremely thrifty spender when it comes to myself - but will spend everything I have on someone
     I love.
4.  I gave up a child for adoption when I was a teenager.  I was blessed to meet her for the first time last
     summer.  We're slowly building a relationship.  I'm not quite sure how to define it....can't really give it a
     label, but after the anniversary party Sat. night, she told me she loved me for the first time.  :)
5.  I've only broken 1 bone in my life so far - a rib - during a car wreck.  Worst pain ever.
6.  I started my own personal assistant business last year, called The Errand Fairy.  This isn't my first stab at
     being an entrepreneur.  In my late teens I started a cleaning business called Maids of Perfection.  In my
     late twenties I started a business driving around to neighborhoods under construction and selling drinks
     and snacks to construction workers out of my car.  It was called Mobile Munchies.  Let's hope with the
     Errand Fairy that I've finally found my niche.  :)
7.  My 2 sisters and I all have boy names with a girl spelling as our middle name...mine is Jo.  Well, my baby
     sister's middle name is my Dad's name...boy spelling.
8.  I live in Atlanta but am originally from Florida.  I miss the ocean so much sometimes that something inside
     me aches.
9.  My boyfriend makes 3x as much money as I do....and it irritates the crap out of me.  It is my mission in
     life to change that.  Go Errand Fairy!!!!  :)
10. According to the Mayans, the world is going to end this year.  I'd like to know what they were smoking
      back then.
11. I really dislike being tagged.  :)

Answers to Jack's 11 questions

1.  What movie title best describes this point in my life?   Hope Floats
2.  What food makes you think of your childhood?   Venison, rice and gravy & buttermilk biscuits
3.  What is your best feature?   My smile
4.  Which cartoon character do you most resemble?   Do Muppets count?  An old man standing in line
     behind me in the grocery store last year referred to me as Miss Piggy. 
5.  What are you most grateful for?   My salvation through Jesus Christ
6.  Would you rather go w/o salt or pepper?   Salt (causes too much bloating)
7.  Why are the holes in cat fur always in the right place for the eyes?   Because they're putting their outfit
     on backwards every day...the holes are supposed to be on the other end.  Duh.
8.  What would you do differently if not judged?   Tell everyone who ever made a fat comment towards me
     exactly what I thought of them.
9.  How do they get the deer to cross @ the yellow road signs?  Deer college.
10. First thing you'd do if you won the lottery?  Before I even bought myself a pack of gum, I'd set my
      parents up with anything and everything they wanted. 
11. Who is your fave blogger named Jack?   Jack "The Shittt" Shit

My Tagees

1.  Brittany @ :Deliciously Healthy
2.  Amy @ Amy's Journey
3.  Crys @ Bigger Than My Body
4.  Tina @ Fat Girl Dives In
5.  Kyle @ Getting Better and Better
6.  Pam @ The Meltaways
7.  Mary Ellen @ Fat Girl On A Diet
8.  Erika @ Fat Like Me
9.  Biz @ My Bizzy Kitchen
10. Leslie @ Something Brilliant Is Brewing
11. PJ Geek @ PJs and Pounds

11 Questions for the Tagees

1.  What's your middle name?
2.  Do you have an exact goal # in mind or will you just know when you get there?
3.  What kind of ethnic flavors make up YOU?  (I have Minorcan, Cherokee, Irish & French)
4.  Do you have a motto for weight loss?  If so, share it with us
5.  What pets do you have?
6.  Would you rather vacation at the beach or in the mountains?
7.  Do you put any weight in what your horoscope says?
8.  "Yes We Can!" or "No You Didn't!"?
9.  How much is a gallon of gas where you live?
10. Fox or CNN?
11. What stirs your soul?

Monday, February 6, 2012


Sorry I didn't post yesterday...I spent most of the day in bed.  I'm not sick per se, just a couple of days into my cycle and I promised no negative posting during this time, lol.  The really bad cramping usually lasts about 4 days, so a couple of more to go with that....and the whole thing lasts 7-9 days.  I'm bloated like stomach is normally soft and squishy and during cycle week it blows up like a basketball and feels hard as a rock.  Everything I wear to work during this week must have an elastic waist or I can't breathe, lol. 

We had an anniversary party for my parents on Sat. and it was a lot of fun.  Normally I'd have to be extra careful about my eating where a party is concerned, but not this time.  It's almost like I forgot to eat!  I had a ham and egg sandwich at 11:30a on Sat, and then saved the rest of my calories for the party at 5pm.  Funny thing is, I was so busy visiting that I just picked at the food.  I had one plate, and I remember having the quick thought that I needed to eat some healthy stuff, and grabbed some raw broccoli, baby carrots and cucumbers off of the veggie platter.  The other things on my plate were 4 meatballs and 1 pig in a blanket.  That's it??  What the heck's wrong with me?  No second plate??  NOPE.  And it took me an hour just to eat that, because I kept jumping up and walking around to visit w/ family that I don't normally get to see.  It wasn't until I was driving home that I realized I was probably seriously under 1500 cals.  That made me smile.

Yesterday pissed me off, lol.  No, not really.  I was just a little irritated.  Dwayne's buddies, Mark and Kevin (brothers), spent the night on our sectional sofa Saturday night.  I heard Kevin get up and leave around 9am or so.  Dwayne and I got up about an hour later and Mark was still asleep on the sofa.  We were sitting out on the deck drinking coffee when Kevin came walking out onto the deck.  I was like, where have you been?  He drove home, grabbed his mountain bike, and rode back over to our house, with a stop at the grocery store on the way.  He walked out onto the deck w/ a package of pork sausage patties and Simply Potatoes hashbrowns in his hand.  He brought breakfast (how nice of him!)....for me to cook (how NICE of 

We were  out of eggs, so Dwayne darted to the store and came back with eggs and canned biscuits.  I stood in the kitchen for an hour (starving), cooking all of this food for the guys, smelling it, stomach growling, etc.  All of the stuff was too high calorie and I didn't want to spend my calories that way.  But I sure didn't appreciate having to cook it and smell it!  Grrrrrr!

Now here's the truth.  I normally don't mind cooking for the guys.  I actually quite enjoy it, and do it most weekends for dinner when the guys are over.  Dwayne will grill and I'll cook the sides and serve it up.  And if they fall asleep on the sofa, I'll cook breakfast for everyone the next morning. 

My irritation yesterday was....#1..I'm on my cycle and grouchy as hell, but trying not to show it to anyone.  My ovaries are truly in a lot of pain the first few days, and standing up at the stove for an hour isn't any fun.  #2..I've only been back on the healthy eating wagon for a week and a half, and I don't need all of this fat-laden, but smells-so-good food right under my nose.  So it was just bad timing this wknd.

After I got them fed, I cooked 2 eggs and made a sandwich with sourdough bread.  Then I went back to my bedroom and stayed there.  I peeled myself out of the bed at 5pm and finally went to the grocery store because I knew if I didn't get prepared for the work week, I was really going to be in trouble.  So I got the shopping done, which put me in a better mood, and Dwayne grilled chicken for dinner last night.  He also grilled some extra chicken breasts for me, that I use for breakfast in egg white scrambles, and also for lunch w/ some veggies. 

Our first official weigh-in for the challenge is this Wed.  I've stayed off the scale since last Wed. because I knew the cycle was coming and I didn't want to see a bad # and feel defeated.  My only focus is eating right during this time, weigh-in on Wed., and keep moving.  My food is prepared for the most part for the next few days so I feel good about the oncoming week.  I just have to make it through the next several days of the cycle, and I know my mood will improve.  There's no real "cure" for PCOS...but the pain can be managed by losing weight.  That's good incentive for me to keep pushing towards my goal.  :)

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Mom and Dad's Anniversary Party with Pics

Tomorrow is the 40th anniversary for my parents.  We celebrated tonight with a party that I planned over the last 5 weeks.  It was supposed to be a surprise party, but I knew my mom would find out, because as long as I've been alive, my mom has always known everything.  And sure enough, she found out 2 weeks ago.  She's just gifted like that. :)

I have the most awesome parents in the world.  I'm very proud of the way they raised me and my 2 sisters, and the way they're now helping to raise the 5 grandkids.  They are very hands-on, integrated parents and grandparents.  They're very involved in our lives....always loving and encouraging and supportive. 

They're both retired now, but they worked hard all of their lives to give us a very comfortable life when I was growing up.  They made sacrifices that I was too young and stupid to realize back then, but fully appreciate now.  We always had everything we needed, and plenty of what we wanted.  They taught us morals and values...gave us confidence and support.  And there were also things that they never did that I appreciate just as much.

They never had alcohol in our house for themselves, and never allowed it in our house from others who visited.  We have alcoholism in our extended family and this is just one thing that they never allowed around us at our home, and it's something I valued and have always appreciated, even during childhood.

My sisters and I dug a few holes for ourselves in younger years.  Sometimes my parents would reach down and pull us right out...and a few times they let us sit in the hole for a little while....because they knew that was the best way to learn the lesson from the mistake we made, so as not to repeat it.  They've always done what's best for us, and continue to do so even now...and with the grandbabies. 

They truly are phenomenal and loved more than any of us could ever express.  We do our best to show them all along, and this party tonight was us shouting "WE LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD...AND THANKS FOR LOVING US!!!"

Thursday, February 2, 2012


Let's just say everything in life was great this morning, and everything crumbled tonight.  So dang aggravated and stressed out.  I can't get into all of it right now, but will update the issue next week when I'm able.  As a side note, one of the adjusters that works at my part-time job was at the funeral home tonight because his mother passed away yesterday.  While there, he had a seizure and was rushed to the hospital.  My office manager Billie is with him now.  I'm going in at 8a tmrw to open the office because she will be at the hospital half the night. 

For the record, I'm at 1460 calories and will stay there for the night.  I will NOT stress eat.  On another note, I'm kicking myself for not going to the damn grocery store so I'd be prepared for a the 11 hours I'll be away from home tmrw....9 hrs at work and 2 hrs commuting.  So I have no idea what's to eat tmrw.  I'm busy doing chores right now, Dwayne will be home from CA tmrw.  I had a jam packed morning planned for tmrw before my normal schedule to go into work at 1pm.  But all of that just got pushed aside...and I'm really, really hoping that Grady's seizure was stressed-induced and nothing more serious.  I've been working in the office with him for nearly 2 years now and he's a super sweet guy.  I'll post more later.....

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Unofficial Weigh-in

For the challenge, we're weighing every 2 weeks.  So I wasn't going to post my one week weigh-in...just check it to see where I'm at.  But this one's too good not to share.

I got on the scale this morning and got quite the shock.  I got on and off 3 times and got the same #.  I figured it was a fluke, so I sat down and checked emails and watched the news for an hour.  Then I got back on the scale and got the same # two more times, so I'm guessing it's correct.

I weighed 251.4 when I started last Wed.  This morning I weigh 243.4.  That is a loss of 8 lbs.!!!  Now I know that when you've been off the wagon for a while, your first week back at it usually produces a big loss, what with flushing a bunch of sodium, etc.  But I don't think I've ever seen this big of a loss in one week, so I am just beyond thrilled!

With that said...let me just say that I learned a lot about my body from keeping the blog the last couple of years and journaling every thing.  I learned all about the symptoms for my PCOS.  Instead of having a cycle once a month like a NORMAL person....I get the symptoms every 2 weeks.  All the bloating, major cramping, acne, sweet/salty cravings...the whole bit.  I know that I'm due for that this week.

So...even if I maintain this 8 lb. loss this week and don't lose anymore due to bloat, I will NOT be disappointed.  It used to get me down so bad when I was giving it my all only to see a maintain on the scale.  I'd throw a tantrum, cry, cuss...the whole bit.  What killed me is that after the bad week, I'd have a good week, and FORGET that another bad week is right around the corner.  Not anymore.  I'm very aware of how my body works now, and I'm ready for it.  I'm not going to let it get me down.  I will not give you a week's worth of negative posts, lol. 

I'm focusing on one day at a time here, now matter how lousy I feel.  I'm going to work on my biggest downfall, and that's consistency.  When the cravings come knocking, I will be prepared for that and work it into my 1500 calorie budget. 

Breakfast this morning was a 4 oz. chicken burger and 2 eggs w/ hot sauce on them....270 cals.  I'm off to a good start.  I'm supposed to have lunch with Brittany today, her best friend Brittni, and my cousin Jennifer.  We're going to an excellent BBQ restaurant called Jim 'n Nick's.  I pulled up the menu last night to see what the options were.  Yikes, lol.  I knew right off the bat I'm going to skip the pork that I LOVE, and go with the smoked turkey breast.  That's a no-brainer.  I was looking at the sides....good grief.  Baked beans, creamy cole slaw, potato salad, mac 'n' chz, fries...and "vegetable of the day".  Depending on what the veggie is (it could be fried okra, lol).....I may just get a turkey sandwich.  That's my back up plan. 

I cooked up 3 chicken burgers last night....baked them in the oven.  So I'll be having another one for dinner tonight, probably with a bag of Steamfresh veggies out of the freezer since I don't have anything fresh in the house right now. 

Hopefully I'll hear back from Brittany soon.  If we get to meet up for lunch today, I'll take some pics of us and post them later tonight or tmrw.  Here's a pic of Brittany and I at Christmas:

Isn't she beautiful?  :)  Proud of that girl.  Hope everyone has a great day!